New Year Anxiety

It’s okay to feel the fear, find your stillness and place of retreat . . And just go with it


I don’ know about you, but I’m touched by a certain sense of melancholy and sadness followed with anxiety on the last night of the year . . . A little part of me has to catch my breath to manage how swiftly time moves us along, and there is that imploding feeling of should I be planning, celebrating, reflecting? . . . I’m just not sure where to place myself.

The first day arrives of our New Year.  We got here. Isn’t it so bright and hopeful with opportunity?! Yet I’m still met with my old friend, Anxiety.

It sits heavily upon my chest. . . It’s so heavy, I struggle to bear it. . . Everything in the air says ‘New’ doesn’t it? New me. New goals. New plans. New adventures. New. New. NEW.

But, in my heart I do not feel I want New. I would really like simply, right now. Now is good. Now is enough. Now gets us to the new, but oh so gently that we don’t even realise it’s happening.

‘Gently, gently, at one’s unique pace’, has always felt more ‘me’.

Stillness. Quiet. Gathering. Pottering. Everyday mindful moments. They matter just as much. Nothing need change or be new, when something so grounding is all ready securely in place.

As always without fail, a little time amongst nature in the meadow ,with my beautiful herd of ponies restores that sense of calm I was searching every part of my mind for, but could not find.

The above is sketched back into focus once more.

It’s all united so perfectly again, as if by the magic of the Hazel tree or the Robin family, even the soothing whiskers upon my hand from our meadow feline and the adoring gaze of equine eyes, as I stumble to them in the mud. It’s all made better and the puzzle is put back together again as if it never fell part. Old friend Anxiety retreats, because, Now is enough.

Nature is still. Beautifully restoring itself with a lot of wonder happening below the surface. Everything is turning gently, steadily, and at its own pace just as it should.

Maybe when you’re entwined with the Earth, the seasons, the land as I am, then maybe my mind and I just need to simply follow Nature’s way. Step out of the every day, and into the place where we fit and where the meadow always eases uncertainty.

To just be. Just breathe. Just cherish now and let everything else fall into place as it’s always done in years gone by.

Nature never lets you down if you follow her lead . . .

So, if you’re a little lost too with what’s expected of you this time of year, I’d say wholeheartedly trust your good, sound, natural instinets. Follow your heart, not anyone else’s . Trust in the slow, mindful restoration of nature, whispering into the dawn ‘Happy New Year’ . . .

 . . . For all we have is now. And Now is all we need. For this is after all, where anything new truly begins . . .

‘ One step at a time. Your heart is seldom wrong. Trust each beat. ‘


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