It’s sad when as adults we reach a chapter in our lives when, suddenly, we so deeply fear we will never reach our dreams. The beautiful ideas we had for ourselves. The life we planned on carving out before us. All at once, we wonder how we will ever get there.
Sometimes, we lose hope completely. Those dreams get placed inside a draw, and we lock it tight. The key often gets lost along the way too. Other times, we close the door, but keep it open just a little. A sparkling glimpse of hope stays present, for we may unearth them again someday. There are those who close and lock the door, but keep the key safe, just holding onto it is enough to know that it’s not yet the end.
I confess I am the girl who kept her dream drawer open. I couldn’t bring them out into the sunshine for many years, those quiet dreams of mine. They stayed glistening away. The key safely in my hand, never locking the door, never getting lost – just there.
In times of worry I clung to those dreams, determined I would never let them go. They may grow, change, transform – as we all do growing up – but somehow I would take them in whatever beautiful form they emerged and make them my reality.
Wonderfully – I now am.
It’s one of those achievements that doesn’t sound loudly and cause a great fanfare of celebration, but rather a soft heartfelt ‘I made it,’ that whispers in the most unexpected of moments.
The trouble is, even dreams have their challenges. Keeping them afloat is never easy. Keeping your belief in them and most importantly faith in yourself is a niggling struggle, that I am learning needs self kindness in order to encourage it to go away. . . it seldom disappears but often simply dissolves into the distance for a while.
But what happens when you’re living you dream but it grows bigger . . . do you stay where you are because it’s all you ever hoped for, or do you let it build, evolve and become even more than you imagined. Is it okay to dream big?
When everyone else struggles to see what you see, do you close the draw again, or pull it open and let everything tumble out and fall into place . . .
As always, I took these life questions to my beautiful herd of meadow ponies. They listened as always. So intently. Affectionately. Their eyes hold a thousand answers. They know what I should do. . . . . .
Then in that quiet moment, as I took in the answered questions rising to my mind – a white feather landed beside us. A beautiful pure, soft white feather.
And you know what they say about white feathers?? . . . .
‘ Gut feelings are guardian angels ‘
Now my answers feel ever clearer, with a little equine magic to help me on my way. There is a lot of sparkle in simplicity. . . there are a lot of answers from simply listening.
It’s just knowing what to look and listen for.
Hold your dream drawer in your arms, and see. . .
‘ Keep hold of your key ‘